So you think you'd like to join a household?
If you are interested in finding out why someone should or shouldn't join a household, I hope this page helps. As I feel most folks who have been in the SCA for a while already have heard this conversation a few times already, please understand that this conversation is geared toward someone who may not have heard it before.

I break joining a household into two areas; students and other retainers.

Students...
Students are the people Peers take into training as squires & men-at-arms, protégés and apprentices. The relationship is unique for each person who enters into it, peer and student alike. Generally, these relationships are formed to a mutual benefit, and they can become more than the sum of the individuals involved resulting in a bond of friendship that is unique to the SCA. These relationships almost always have an oath of fealty sworn between the two. A spoken promise; the teacher to imbue the student with knowledge & guidance and the student to aspire and gain wisdom. More aspects can be included such as protection and service, and these get more closely bound to what the Peer has to offer based on the area of expertise they have.
Men-at-arms and other less binding relationships sometimes have a written, or verbal contract, typically of one year and one day, and on the ending of terms some decide to swear fealty (thus becoming a squire, etc), renew the contract, or simply go on to other things with or without continued service.

Other retainers...
Sometimes Peers may also take heralds, bards, cooks, and other retainers into their household. This is sometimes a fealty relationship, and often a "contract service", and hopefully with or without the other two binding promises, just turns out to be people who like hanging out together anyway and do it for the medieval re-creative aspect and for camaraderie and mutual benefits (I like the latter reasons best). Simply spending event time with someone has no ties, but those of friendship and helping the group to get things done, so more time can be spent having fun. Still, some feel a need to swear fealty, and do so to show the depth that they feel tied to the household, or the individual peer they work/play with most.

Either way, and for whatever reason...
In either case, these bonds should not be entered into lightly as they can be in place for the rest of your life! Given, they only hold you to SCA concerns, but it can ruin your time in the Society if not well thought out.  It can bring you a great feeling a satisfaction to serve in fealty (I still miss the days of being squired to my knight). There are many people I know who have entered into a fealty relationship too hastily, and soured their taste for the SCA for a while after, and regrettably, some have even left the Society entirely. I hope to help avoid that issue with this, almost certainly, redundant essay. For the majority of people I have known who have entered into fealty is has been well thought out and has been very rewarding for both parties. Long bonds of friendship are born even in cases where the relationship doesn't end through someone being elevated to a peerage. Look around the next time you're at an event...  do you see the people who are spending time together as clicky peers who are too stuffy to talk to you or do you see old friends who are taking the opportunity to spend some time together since they haven't seen one another in a long time?  I see the bonds of friendship clearly, and I rarely see the clicks.  These are the people who either came up together or were sworn in fealty at some point.  In several years, when you're a peer you might look back and see the same thing...

Take your time...
Don't rush things.  It's not required that you be in a household at all.  As a matter of fact, except for the fact that you can register a household badge, the SCA doesn't even cover households in the corporate rules. Each household is formed for a variety of reasons by different people. One thing I always warn folks about is forming household just because you feel a need to fit in someplace. These usually end badly as there are almost always internal disputes that take place over who is "in charge", or so and so is being a jerk, or whatever.  Successful households are mostly (not always) headed by a peer (Knight, Laurel or Pelican) who has a student who swears fealty. That, in my mind, forms a household on the spot once the oath is sworn between the two. This bonds the two people and usually includes their families, at least to some extent. They tend to camp together, and share meals, and hang out doing medieval stuff in a like manner or in a certain time frame. Other successful households you might encounter are those that get started by a few people who started together, and have similar interests. These households are rare, and often get cannibalized by peer run houses as the people in them get squired, and apprenticed, etc... Even more in the minority are the few households that start as a non-peer household or clan, and after years of service and fighting and doing things in the SCA, one or several of the members become peers.  These are rare, but I have seen a few that evolved this way.

I'm not knocking it!
Now that I have warned you about jumping into a household too quickly, I will say that in most cases it is very desirable to squire to a knight you think can guide you. It's also good to have a representative in the Chivalry Council to speak up for you, and to relay important information about how you are being perceived (I am slanting this to knights, but it is similar for all the peerages). You shouldn't get direct quotes from meetings of course, but you will get some 'insider' info that can help.  Of course a good peer will not share with you directly what was said about you and by whom, but they can use the info they get to better guide you. And even having said that, you must always keep in mind that whatever path you take is for you to walk.  No guide can take the steps for you!  If you're one of those people who has sworn fealty, but the peer has been busy with real life or just gone into semi-retirement, the path is still yours! Find other guides, or ask your peer to point you to a good match, but in any case, keep on your path. Practice and hone your skills. Get better at what you do, and live as you feel your peer would have had you do if they were still active.  It's your trip. Enjoy it!  If you enjoy the path, getting the peerage isn't the end, it's just a little different.

 We have the opportunity to make close friends in the SCA, and you must be certain that the person you are sworn to, or even just decide to be affiliated with, is the person or people with whom you really want to spend your time. There is no need to jump in right away.  Spend some time with them first. I recommend knowing someone for at least a year before formally joining a household. By the end of that year, you'll see if you are a good match. There is no extra charge!  Honest! And you're likely to be with them for at least a few years anyway. Like they say about marriage (but to a lesser degree here), "So what if you take an extra few months before you get married, it's for the rest of your life."  Be sure FIRST, then take the oath. You'll be happier for it.

Joining House Blackhart...
Having said all the above, I will now talk about my criteria for taking people into House Blackhart. Though I will take things slowly, I'd enjoy expanding our household a bit. It makes for a fun environment, and many hands make light work. I do not expect my household to put my tent up, nor carry all my stuff. Even when I was on the throne (the first time), there was only one person I'd let pack the vehicle for us, and he was more my brother, and not really in my household (thank you Aedan!). At Pennsic we have a grand setup, and we all get the tents setup. We get the kitchen situated, and do daily cleanup.  There isn't any division of work based on rank. Everyone helps. It's a great environment, and I can't wait to get to Pennsic again.  Check out Chez D'Argent for a little feeling of the ribald fun we have there. Frankly, I would like to recreate a little of the Chez D'Argent feel in my camp, and not just at Pennsic.  Great friends, great food, and if you don't have fun, we'll have fun for you!  :-D

How do I choose a squire?
I do not usually approach someone about becoming my squire, but tend to let them approach me about it.  The first thing I'll do is tell them to spend time with us for a while.  Also to meet other peers and see if they are certain they want to become my squire when there are so many fine Knights to choose from in our great Kingdom of An Tir. I am not trying to send them away, but want to make certain the match is right. I look at several things when taking a squire:
~Do they love to fight?
~Do they have the potential to become a peer?
~Are they comfortable with the fact that many squires never become knights?
      -And given that, would they still want to be my squire?
~Do I enjoy their company, and do they enjoy my family, and other squires and household members?
~Do they have a sense of humour? Can they stand mine?  :-D

These are really the prime concerns for me. Now to find out if the answers are appropriate for further consideration, I like to spend time with the person and their family, at events and outside of events to make sure everyone gets along, and enjoys one another's company. If everyone seems to get along well for the duration of this, then we'll have a conversation to determine an event and ceremony for swearing fealty.  I get a new squire, and they get a guide towards knighthood as well as a place to camp at events.  We all get to have a little more fun!  :-D 

For people who would like to come and hang out with House Blackhart, please come join us for a drink or a meal, a game, or just some good conversation! Caia and I are very much the home bodies when we get set up at an event, but we always enjoy company! If you have young children, my boys Gryphon (7) & Phoenix (5) would love to meet them.

Becoming my squire...
I have one active squire on the east coast and one here in An Tir. So, I have room for a few good squires! My one An Tirian squire, Roric, seems a bit lonely, and would like some local squire brothers.

Read the criteria above...

Joining the Household as a retainer...
Now as to joining House Blackhart for other reasons...  I have several positions open that I would like to fill. :-D
A suitable squire may fill any of these slots as well, but in the meantime:

Field Herald:  I would like a field herald for tourneys.  Pay: To be determined.

Bard(s): We enjoy having musicians around...  Especially in the evening after the boys have gone to bed. We'll keep you well fed and watered. I would enjoy sponsoring a local bard.

Men-at Arms: I'd like to find a few armored friends for melee. If you're interested, just look me up on the battle field, or contact me ahead of time by e-mail. No contract required, but I would like to start forming a unit for melee tactics this year. You can join me once in a while or every time I'm out there. Really, I'm not looking to shanghai anyone into being a squire! You might get dinner as well if you don't have other plans.

Babysitters: My Lady and I would love to find a baby sitter for Gryphon and Phoenix so we can go shopping or to a party together once in a while. Pay: Exchange of sitting services if you have kids, or just tell us your rate... We have cell phones and family radios, so any issues would last no longer than the time it takes us to get back to our encampment (10mins or less I would expect).

If you perform some function you think we need to fill in our household, and think you would like to camp with us, come and talk.  We won't bite, I promise! I'll even do the cooking!

We usually camp with or near Ulfredsheim, and see no reason to stop doing so (unless they get tired of us!)

~Amalric